Now it’s even easier to travel with the monkey on your back.

…if authorities at your child’s school insisted on checking his/her underwear before a dance?

The school can set dress codes/requirements, but that stops at the outer layer of clothes. I would be SO pissed if anyone dared to harass my child about his or her undergarments, and even more so if they insisted on checking or laid hands upon my child.

Damn, I’m not even a parent yet, and this has me so steamed.

Poor Spritel. I feel like a mean kitty mommy.

Last night, we took all food and water away from the cats at 8 pm. This morning, at 9, Dale took Spritel to the vet. My fuzzy boy (Spritel, not Dale) needed his teeth cleaned. Feline dental cleaning is considered surgery, complete with anesthesia, hence no food/drink the night before. We also had the vet update Spritel’s vaccinations.

Early this afternoon they called to say it went well and we’d be able to pick him up after 4:30. Around 3pm I started getting antsy. I wanted my kitty back! I think I was at the vet’s at like 4:28.

They said his cleaning went well and they didn’t have to do any extractions, so his after care instructions were simple. Restrict food and water until tomorrow. Watch to make sure he DOES eat and drink. And they told me he was still really groggy.

The girl brought him out in his carrier and he was all huddled in the back of it. His eyes were all pink-rimmed and bleary and wet, and he looked miserable. I put him in the car and talked to him all the way home, but he wasn’t responsive. As soon as I opened the carrier door, though, he bolted out and into our bedroom. I followed him in and picked him up and cuddled him, but he still seemed so unhappy.

A couple of hours later we were able to let him drink water. Then around 9:30pm I gave him a small can of soft kitten food. (The vet had suggested watering down his dried food ’cause his gums may be sensitive.) I shut him into the master bedroom so he could eat in peace, and he really dug into it. I don’t blame him. It was the first food he’d had in over 24 hours.

I only let him eat half the food ’cause I didn’t want him to throw up. About 15 minutes later, I put the dried food back out and the rest of the soft, and the other cats chowed down in a frenzy.

Later, I watched Spritel walk upstairs. He seemed to be limping a bit and going very slowly, so I think he’s sore from his vaccinations too.

Poor guy. He has to endure all this pain and discomfort, and he doesn’t know why. He’s normally the most loving of our cats, but today I’ve barely been able to get a purr out of him.

EnviroMedia is a cool company that offers “Advertising with a conscience.” The site includes Enviro Tips and one of the most amusing employee profiles ever. I just wish they were hiring.

I’ve updated my Go Elsewhere page. I finally got to put a * next to Julie’s link, and my beloved bwg has a new domain name! Go visit them, and the others on my links page. They’re all way more interesting than I am.

Pamela: hahahah! greatest line from (classic) star trek - an “entity” has gotten into the enterprise’s system, people are scrambling to fix it without causing ship-wide panic, and the entity is cackling and taunting them, and sulu says, “Captain, that’s the first time I’ve heard a ‘malfunction’ threaten us.”

Kathie: *facepalm*

I went out to the pet store today to pick up cat litter and Nature’s Miracle. (I swear, I should officially invest in both.) While I was there, I decided to get my kitties a Fresh Flow Pet water Fountain. I knew they would like it, because they love to drink from the sinks. Whenever we go into the bathroom, they rush in, hoping we’ll turn on a faucet.

Dale was dubious about the water fountain when I brought it home, because the resevoir capacity didn’t seem large enough for seven cats. But after I was able to pour all the water from the gravity-feed waterer into the new one, he OK’d it. Once we set it up, the cats rushed in to drink. Velcro* kept trying to cram his nose into the mouth of the fountain to get as close to the source as possible.

Amusingly, while I was searching for a web site about the fountain I purchased, I came across one by a different manufacturer. A toilet-shaped fountain.

My next feline experiment involved getting Dale to help me apply nail covers to Spritel**. The poor guy ended up being Test Subject #1 for SoftClaws, which are soft vinyl caps that you glue over your cat’s claws. They’re meant to help with scratching problems without resorting to declawing. I had heard about these years ago, but I’d not bothered to order them online. But the pet store had them in the last temptation rack next to the register, so I figured I’d pick up a package to give them a try.

Dale was horrified when I told him about them and showed them to him. He helped me apply them to Spritel but did so, “under protest.” He thought they’d be horrible and uncomfortable, but once we had them applied to Spritel’s front feet, the cat didn’t react, except to be pissed off that we’d trimmed his nails before applying the caps. It’s been several hours and they’re still in place, and Spritel doesn’t even seem to be aware of them, so I’m pleased. So far, so good.

Well, I’m going to go check on Spritel now and make sure that he hasn’t chewed off a nail cap yet.

* This is the cat who’s a full-body-contact drinker. When he drinks from a bowl, he gets his chest wet. When we let them drink from a faucet, he’ll leave with the top of his head all wet. What a dorky cat.

** I chose Spritel for several reasons. He’s the most tolerant of being (man)handled. He’s got a problem with chewing his nails until they’re splintered and shredded, so I thought this might help. And he likes to sleep right between me and Dale at night, but he’s prone to bad dreams which cause him to freak out in the middle of the night, and I’ve been left with torn and bleeding flesh more than once ’cause of that.

Oh god, I just cleaned out the fridge. I gathered the Tupperwares O’ Doom and emptied them, then stuffed them into the dishwasher as quickly as possible. Then I pulled out the vegetable crisper. I have no idea why it’s called a crisper, when all the vegetation in there was squishy and limp and distintegrating into a foul liquid covering the bottom of the drawer.

Ugh, it was horrible! But hopefully I’ve gotten rid of whatever is funking up the fridge. And now the cats can’t keep eating (then barfing up) the leftover lasagne that was sitting on the counter.

Not quite.

Purse-snatchers beware: Atlanta police are riding shiny new $9,000 scooters — and it will take at least a brisk jog to get away from them.

Thanks to Scott for the link.

I played with Lost in Translation last night, and here are the results.

Original English Text:

I am what I am, and that’s all that I am. No more, no less, just me.

Translated to French:

Je suis ce qui suis je, et c’est tout que je suis. Pas plus, aucun moins, juste je.

Translated back to English:

I am what am I, and it is very that I am. Not more, no less, just I.

Translated to German:

Ich bin, was ich sind, und es ist sehr, daß ich bin. Nicht mehr, kein kleiner, gerade I.

Translated back to English:

I am, which I are, and it is much that I am. No more, no small, even I.

Translated to Italian:

Sono, che la I è ed è molta che sono. Nient’altro, nessuna piccola, I uniforme.

Translated back to English:

They are, than it is and it is a lot that is. Nient’ other, no small, the uniform.

Translated to Portuguese:

São, do que é e é muito que é. Nient ‘ outro, nenhum pequeno, o uniforme.

Translated back to English:
They are, of that it is and he is much that is. Nient ‘ another one, no small one, the uniform.

Translated to Spanish:

Son, de ése está y él es mucho que es. Nient ‘ otro, ningún pequeño, el uniforme.

Translated back to English:

They are, of that one he is and it is much that he is. Nient ‘ another one, no small one, the uniform.

[via Jish]

Awww, I am so bummed that I missed out on signing up for The Film Exchange Project. That’s such a cool idea!

As I write this, some of my friends are gathering for a funeral, another one of their friends. I didn’t know her, but I have spent the last week seeing the grief rock this group, which has caused its own sadness within me.

Although I am not there, my heart is with my friends today.

I love you guys, and I am so sorry for your loss.

I just got my first ‘flame’ comment, on a fairly old entry. Perhaps I should be offended or insulted, but the poor grammar and spelling of the comment just make me laugh instead.

Pamela: heh

Pamela: You Are A: Neutral Good Elf Bard Ranger

Follower Of Oghma

Aaron: what dnd character are you test?

Pamela: yeah

Aaron: where? i bet i can get evil mage

Pamela: http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~ellingwd/dndwho/index.html

Aaron: damn

Pamela: hahahaha

Aaron: neutral evil elf mage thief

Pamela: what did you want to get?

Aaron: how the fuck did i get elf

Pamela: pansy!

Aaron: i picked trees as the last fucking place i wanna live

Pamela: laf

Aaron: and only neutral evil? what the fuck, do i have to kill them all, fuck the corpses and then loot them?

Pamela: yay, i’m manipulating the test to get desired results ;D

Pamela: Chaotic Good Half-Elf Ranger Bard

Pamela: gotta be a HALF-elf

Aaron: dammit how am i a fucking elf!

Pamela: *snicker*

Aaron: im gonna rip this fuckers long point ears off and shove them up his ass

Pamela: you realize i’m gonna blog this, don’tcha?

Aaron: fucking blog it ill deny it all MUAHAHAHA because i am evil !

Pamela: tree-hugger

Aaron: ooooh i am so gonna fireball you

Pamela: i’m so scared, legolas

Pamela: pervy hobbit-fancier

Aaron: lil singing ass pounding galadriel

Aaron: at least they got god right

Pamela: yes, that would be you too

Aaron: Chaotic Evil Elf Mage Cleric

Pamela: hahahahah

Pamela: still an ELF

Aaron: i have no idea how any of my choices were elfish

Pamela: must be subconscious. deep down, you really want to prance around the forest in tights.

Aaron: i cant figure out what questions are elvish at all?

Aaron: Good & Evil:

Good —- (-12)

Neutral - (-7)

Evil —- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)

Pamela: wannabe

So, a few days ago, I made a post about how much Verisign/Network Solutions sucks. About the same time, I noticed that Mel’s site was missing. She’s back now, but it turns out that the source of her down time was, you guessed it, the fault of Network Solutions.

Scott: duuuude

Scott: whats this about your mom getting bit by a monkey

Pamela: where did you hear that?

Scott: lol from horton’s girlfriend who works with your mom

Pamela: ahhhh

Pamela: she didn’t exactly get bitten by a monkey

Scott: did the monkeys get loose from your website and get her

Pamela: she was bitten by my sister’s rat, who is named munkey

Scott: OH

Scott: LOL

Pamela: rofl

Scott: can i relay that back to paige?
Pamela: yeah

Scott: lol

Scott: too funny

Scott: glad she’s not like got the black plague or ebola or anything

Pamela: yeah

Pamela: she did have an allergic reaction to the tetanus shot though

Pamela: had her running a fever for 3 days

Scott: yeah thats what i heard

Scott: im glad she’s ok, it makes a better story to say she was bit by a monkey

Scott: Paige: everyone at bbb thinks it was a monkey bit - so, i will just leave it alone
Paige: long story

Pamela: lf

Pamela: laf

Pamela: man, the BBB grapevine. how weird

Scott: lol

Pamela: oh, i just remembered my mom said everyone at BBB keeps teasing her about getting bitten

Why dogs kill their owners. [via Aaron]

I just realized I’ve been blogging for a little over two years now. Yep. My first post was made on March 16, 2000. That day, I got stuck in a restaurant when the power went out, and I didn’t own a house yet.

Since then, I’ve made over 1600 posts.

Wow, that’s a lot of typing.