If any of the three* of you who read this site regularly are interested in participating in one with me, email me your snail mail address and I’ll reply with mine.

(*I’m guessing here. The number could be lower. Heh.)

Hrm, I have an etiquette question. Is is bad form to write your email address below your signature on a card you’re sending for a Holiday Card Swap? Let me know what you think.

Awwww! Aaron gets credit for being the first to send me this picture:

Oh my. There is a patron saint of disputed elections, and his name is (I’m not kidding) St. Chad.

Personalized license plate (from California) spotted last week:

End Hate

Great message, but it would have been more effective if the driver knew how to use turn signals.

Save a tree. Eat a beaver.

Oh, this is terrible.

“Cleanup crews are working to contain a half-million gallons of crude oil that spilled from a tanker into shellfish beds and bird sanctuaries along the lower Mississippi River.”

Aaron: most days i start off the day with my first mistake

Aaron: getting out of bed

URGENT PLEA FOR BLOOD DONORS ISSUED

AUSTIN, TX - An urgent plea for blood donors has been issued by The Blood and Tissue Center of Central Texas. The Center needs over 550 units of blood just to bring the blood supply up to stable. Because of this acute shortage, the Center is unable to meet the regular stock orders of some area hospitals.

“We only have 24 units in stock of O negative, the Universal Donor used in emergencies and only 12 units of O positive,” says Dr. Catherine A. Mazzei, the Center’s Medical Director. “We need to have 340 total units of both types of O blood in order to meet the regular needs of the 26 hospitals and specialty treatment facilities we serve. Having a shortage this acute means that we have no reserve in case of an emergency.”

Anyone who can donate is urged to donate blood this week or next. The Center, located at 4300 North Lamar Boulevard, is open weekdays from 8am to 6pm and Saturday from 8am to 2pm. For more information, call 206-1266 or visit the Center’s web site at www.bloodandtissue.org.

Happy Birthday, Ray!!!

Could this be the end of the sex.com saga?

Hrm. Furious George wasn’t enough. Now Aaron is wasting my time with Battle Faeries!

‘Scuse me, I need to go level so I can kick his ass.

For some reason, I have the theme song to “The Outer Limits” TV series playing in my head.

Over and over and over and over….

Bad monkey!

Well, I think I’ve finally figured out how to configure my stats program to exclude certain directories and types of files from my logs. Unfortunately, in the process of doing this, I’ve managed to delete some files at the root level of my domain.

I am an idiot.

A woman is helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and tells him that he will now need to choose and enter a password that he wants to use when logging on.

The husband is in a rather amorous mood and figures he will try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention so, when the computer asks him to enter his password, he makes it plainly obvious to his wife that he is keying in “penis”…

His wife nearly falls off her chair from laughing so hard when the computer replies:

(Thanks to Alex for the joke.)

A 12 year old girl ended up in handcuffs and must now perform community service and undergo counseling, just for eating a french fry?!

That’s just ridiculous.

You know, this whole election thing is just getting to be so embarassing. This was sent to me by a friend who’d received it from his company’s Scotland office….

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed”.
2. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American “football”. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. “Merde” is French for “shit”.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called “Indecisive Day”.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

*sigh* Not only did I miss out on Margaret Cho last weekend, I also forgot about the Satan’s Cheerleaders film festival at the Alamo Drafthouse.